Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize