There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
