Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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