I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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