fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize