Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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