I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
