whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
two words...techno handjob
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost the right to judge tonight
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
