So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
