is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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