Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I smell stomach acid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
