what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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