His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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