Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
