4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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