In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
