Kiss
Puke
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
