fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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