after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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