He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
