well most of my day revolves around power hour
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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