he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
