he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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