At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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