I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
