Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
