Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
