omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
