"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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