I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
