her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Girls should come with a carfax report
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
