She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
