I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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