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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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