I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
