I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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