I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.