hotties wanna shake it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?