So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.