i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it