Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
