Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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