he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's official drugs can't kill me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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