That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
