i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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