wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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