My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
