do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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