Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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