Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
