dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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