He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
