You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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