He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
