It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
