It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
