i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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