the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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