when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
