No awkward lesbian experiences without me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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