At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
