no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can I color on your dick again?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
