Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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