i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
