he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
