speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
