but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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