I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize