it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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